Lesson number 4 - Not my child

Last week I had the opportunity to take Matthew out to lunch.  He choose McDonald's.  So we went inside and while eating I noticed a man with two children.  The kids were about 2 and 3.  They were giving him a run for his money.  Not eating or sitting,  finally the little girl escaped and went running around the restaurant.  She only made it one lap when an older gentleman walked up to me and asked me if that child was mine I said no.  The father said she is mine and the old man proceed to ream the man about keeping his child under control in public.  Some not so nice words were exchanged.  The little family quickly cleaned up and left.  I thought WOW.  I am glad Matthew is being so well behaved.  No fast forward a week......

I ran in to 5 Below today looking for gingerbread houses.  Matthew asked for a toy,  I told him No that we were there to get gingerbread houses and candy, then we were going home.  The next thing I know there is a child screaming and crying, "I WANT A TOY!!!"  So I keep walking, looking but not finding the houses and the screaming child is following me.  I felt sorry for that parent,  their child was throwing a royal temper tantrum. Then the realization that the child screaming is mine........I looked at him  in disbelief and told him to stop and that his is not getting a toy.  I pick out a few candy items and start to check out, All this time telling him to stop or he will be going to bed when we get home,  Big boys don't act like this in the store.  This is not the way to act if you want a reward or surprise. I even broke out the big guns....  Now you are on the naughty list....  So having paid and Matthew still screaming we went to the car. Only to realize that I left my phone in the cart.  Now I have to return to the store with the screaming child to get my phone.  All I could think of   "Who are you and what have you done with my child."

Taking a deep breath, with phone in hand, in the privacy of my car I tell Matthew that if he doesn't stop then we will have to go home for a time out on his bed and we won't be doing Gingerbread Houses tonight.  So he is almost stopped when he says, " My feet hurt"  I reply when we get home you can take your shoes off and rest.  He replies " My feet will only stop hurting if I get a toy."  I reply, "Well then I guess your feet will hurt, because you are not getting a toy."  Next he starts gagging.... My stomach hurts.  Me-  that is because you threw a temper tantrum.  No, he says it is because I didn't get a toy and it won't stop hurting unless I get one.  Me:  That's too bad., you are still not getting a toy.

So after a time out at home, We finally got back out and got the Gingerbread houses.

I don't think I have ever said My child would never do that.  I have said I am glad my child isn't doing that.
Now I have said " Yes, that is my child, let's go."

Lesson Number 3 - Winning isn't everything wanting to is.....

About a year ago William started doing mixed martial arts.  I was concerned at first because of the level of violence associated with MMA.  But as I watched William blossom not only at class but in school I changed my thinking.  Fast forward 9 months and Robert starts taking classes and we discover that he has a real natural talent for it.  The gym where they take classes expects a lot from them including copies of their grades and signatures from their teachers and parents in order to be promoted to their next belt.  They teach the kids to be respectful and to keep working especially when it is hard.  They have a motto that " Winning isn't everything but wanting to is."  It is this never give up  and always do your best and try your hardest attitude that I love seeing instilled in my kids in a way I never could have.

So that brings us to this weekend.  Robert competed in his first ever grappling tournament.  Grappling is the martial arts version of wrestling.  He competed in the GI and No GI portions.  When we got there there was no one else in his division so they asked if he would wrestle a 9 yr old but who weighed about 6 pound less then Robert.  So after discussing it with his coach's we agreed.  No GI went first.  He lost to the 9 yr old but was thrilled with the fun he had. He wasn't upset that he lost. He then wrestled a boy his own age who came in late and soundly won that match. 

When they did awards he got a medal for a 2nd place finish against the 9 yr old and a first place in his age category.

In the GI division he went against the 9 yr old again and soundly won.  In fact he dominated it.  The look on his face was great. 

For his first place finishes he received 2 swords almost as big as he is  and yes they are sharp.

We saw many tears from other competitors and parents and coach's telling them what they did wrong not supporting them for trying.

The best part about this is the whole family went together , 3 hours each way.  No one complained.
When you ask Robert what he liked best it is that he had fun and the swords are cool too.

I think this weekend my whole family saw how important it is to go in with the attitude of a winner and to be supportive no matter the outcome.

Lesson 2- Ginger on life and death

Ginger was brought to us when she was about 4 years old.  She had been left at a farm in Virginia by her original owner how had gotten a new job and could no longer take care of her.  Bill and Ginger immediately fell in love.  He has a thing for damsel's in distress.  She truely loved Bill and would do anything for him.  She tolerated me as the other woman in Bill's life.  We so came to an understanding and she stayed.  She protected the kids and stole the food out of their hands as payment for this protection.  She taught my kids about birth and the responsibilities of puppies when she had 11 of them 5 years ago. She was an amazing mother. She kept all those puppies fed, clean and in line with gentle nips and barks. She was patient with my kids who handled them daily.

About 6 months ago we noticed that she was having a lot of accidents in the house and 2 months ago we started seeing blood in her urine.  2 weeks ago we discovered that she had bladder cancer.  She was always our sausage dog  but with the cancer she had lost 12 pounds in about 10 weeks.  She got so thin.  So last Saturday she left our family to return to heaven. 

She also taught my children about death and grieving.  She gracefully held on with out complaints until we were ready to say good bye. We went as a family with her and we all stayed as the Dr. administered the medications.  Many tears were shed and continue to be shed,  Mainly by me I think. Looking back over her time with us, she taught our family so much.

I am not sure that Matthew understands what happened.  First he asked if Rolo would be mad that we left Ginger at the vet.  Now he tells me Rolo isn't mad any more just sad. We are all sad and grieving in our own way. 

I hope she was met by all of the other dogs we have loved and they are having fun chasing ducks and deer.

 

Ginger, you are missed, please rest now you job is done.

Lesson Number 1 - What to do if you are turkey

Robert (7) was given an assignment to write a persuasive letter to a farmer from the point of view of the turkey.  Here is his letter:


Dear Farmer,

I urge you not to eat me for thanksgiving. 1 reason is I'm rily (really) fast.  I'll run to China and you'll never get me.  The next reasen is my meat is very tuff (tough).  If you try to eat me you'll break your teeth.  A nuther (Another) reason is I'm going to peck your eyes out.  So you shud (should) run.  So you shudent (shouldn't) eat me for thanksgiving.

Yours truely,
Turkey R.


What I have learned is that I should not eat my children even when they act like turkey's.  Like Turkey R.  my kids ae going up very fast and sometimes life seems so tough that I might just break my teeth.  So I am trying to follow President Uchtdorf's guidance and "Be Happy Now".  Be happy about the little things, it is in the little things our greatest happiness and blessings can be found.

What am I supposed to teach.....

I have a friend at church that told me she was glad that the Lord was so patient with us,  because she keep having the same struggle over and over again and she wished that she would hurry up and learn her lesson so this would pass.  So we talked for awhile and feeling better that we were not alone in our struggles we went our separate ways.  Our conversation stayed in my head for days, replaying it over and over.  Several days later I had my ah ha moment.  Thanks to my wonderful friend Jeanne, I was able to change my perspective.  She reminded me that our struggles are not always what we are supposed to learn,  but maybe it is because we need to teach someone.
So get ready I have alot to teach..........

Counting my blessings

I started this post last week and had to stop.  For many reasons  but mainly because I got too emotional to keep going.  It is still not complete and I have so many blessings that I can't even  count.

Growing up I loved the hymn the said "Count you many blessings name them one by one.  Count you many blessings see what god has done."  I think I have forgotten how to count.  For the last two weeks things have seemed very hard.  The kids have been running fevers off and on for no apperent reason,  I have started having migranes daily till my hair hurts.(My new glasses seem to have fixed them)  Yet still I keep thinking that I need to count my blessings.  So here it goes.....

I am thankful

For the porta potty outside my house so the work men don't have to come inside.
For my dear Matthew who will lay down with me when my head hurts.
For my washing machine that sounds like a jet engine but refues to die.
For my husband who understands that right now laundry on demand is all I can handle.
For Judy who has been a steady comfort through Carolynn's panic attacks.
For my sunbeams, who every week give me hugs and tell me the best Knock knock jokes.
For my family near and far who always love and support me, no matter what.

So count you blessing no matter how small,  they will make you smile  :)

We are expecting ....

It has finally happened. We are building a 2 car garage. I am so excited. I will put pictures up as soon as I figure out how from my phone I put some on Facebook